|Volume 10 no. 2
Valley Democratic Club Newsletter
At large members
This is our last meeting
before the March primary, so it's imperative that we all go to the polls,
complete our absentee ballots or vote electronically at the various sites
throughout the county & be heard! . It is expected to be a low turnout
& many will be staying home. Don't be one of them!
A representative from the
Measure C campaign will be at our next meeting to give us more information
about the latest school bond. We will also review the rest of the propositions.
Also scheduled to speak is Lise Pearlman, candidate for Superior Court
Judge who, regrettably was not at the endorsement meeting due to an oversight
on our behalf.
We had a large turnout at
our endorsement meeting last month that included a finely executed debate
by Barbara Lee & Kevin Greene. Both candidates articulated their arguments
clearly & made a strong case for endorsement & election. The results
are as follows:
Don't forget to vote for
the real Dems seeking re-election to our County Democratic Central Committee.
Don't be fooled by the wannabe Dems. (aka the LaRouchies) Bonafide members
See you on Feb. 18th !
warns that Bushlexia is "contagerous"
by Victor Payan Pocho
Center Health and Humor
The Center for Disease Control issued a
warning today that Bushlexia, the terrible disorder that destroys rational
thinking and speech centers of the brain, can be spread from person to
person. "New evidence shows that Bushlexia is contagerous,"said CDC spokeswoman
Dr. Ann Thrax. Apart from its trademark speech impediments, symptoms of
Bushlexia include the inability to process complex ideas, delusions of
grandeur, susceptibility to authority, alcohol abuse, and involuntary facial
ticks, such as smirking, nervous laughter, and the sudden eruption of large
boils when angry.
Another symptom of the disorder is that
it causes its sufferers to mimic the facial expressions of chimpanzees.
Although little is known of the disease, it is believed that Bushlexia,
also known as "Mad Cowboy Disease," is spread through television news,
talk radio and by exposure to USA Today. The possibility of a Bushlexia
epidemic is staggering, warns Thrax, as it would render all forms of communication
useless. "Could you imagine having a cell phone conversation with someone
who had Bushlexia?" asked a concerned Thrax. "And if you had to order Chinese
food, you just might starve."
Another more menacing characteristic of
Bushlexia, is he tendency to make its sufferers susceptible to the will
of authority figures. It would be unwise to misunderestimate the degree
of subliminable suggestion to which a person might be injected," says Thrax.
"Therefore, we strongly encourage people who show symptoms of Bushlexia
to immediately resort to local authorities for a battering of tests."
A recent CDC report on Bushlexia
showed that rats exposed to George W. Bush press conferences and television
programs such as "The O'Reilly Factor" suffered severe impairment to their
cognitive abilities. "Because we have found Bushlexia in rats," says Thrax,
"we have concluded that people with Bushlexia are really rats." The origins
of Bushlexia are unknown, but the first outbreak occurred in Texas, when
George W. Bush's money beat popular incumbent Ann Richards in that state's
More recently, a widespread
Bushlexia epidemic in Florida resulted in the miscounting and dismissal
of thousands of votes for presidential candidate Al Gore. at that time,
it was believed that Bushlexia was also responsible for the Florida Supreme
Court's decision to throw out the votes. Later, however, it was concluded
that the real cause was corruption. "Since Bushlexia is a fairly recent
disorder, we can only conclude that it may be the result of some new form
of bio-illogical warfare," says Thrax.
It is feared that Florida
governor Jeb Bush has also contracted Bushlexia, as he has remained mysteriously
silent over that state's connection to the terrorist bombings of the World
Trade Center, the recent outbreaks of Anthrax and the creation of the horrible
scourges N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys.
In related news, CNN has
reported a large outbreak of Bushlexia among senior Democratic officials
since Sunday's airstrikes in Afghanistan. Because of constant exposure
to government spokespeople, CNN has begun mandatory Bushlexia testing among
its news staff. Senior CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer, however, assured the public
that the idea of a Bushlexia epidemic among media professionals is "ridicular
If your address label
reads something other than "2002," this is your last newsletter unless
you renew today!
Individual : $ 10.00
Monday, February 18
Castro Valley Women's Club
18330 Redwood Rd.