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Castro Valley Democratic Club Castro Valley
Democratic Club
Volume 10 no. 2
February 2002
Castro Valley Democratic Club Newsletter
2002 Officers
Sonya Howes

Bob Swanson

Jean Gaylord

Newsletter Editor
Karla Goodbody

At large members
Evelyn Brownell
Robin Torello

President's Message:

This is our last meeting before the March primary, so it's imperative that we all go to the polls, complete our absentee ballots or vote electronically at the various sites throughout the county & be heard! . It is expected to be a low turnout & many will be staying home. Don't be one of them! 

A representative from the Measure C campaign will be at our next meeting to give us more information about the latest school bond. We will also review the rest of the propositions. Also scheduled to speak is Lise Pearlman, candidate for Superior Court Judge who, regrettably was not at the endorsement meeting due to an oversight on our behalf.

We had a large turnout at our endorsement meeting last month that included a finely executed debate by Barbara Lee & Kevin Greene. Both candidates articulated their arguments clearly & made a strong case for endorsement & election. The results are as follows: 

Endorsed candidates

Barbara Lee
Pete Stark
Liz Figueroa
Ellen Corbett
John Dutra
Johan Klehs
Phil Angelides
Jack O'Connell

No endorsement

Insurance Commissioner

Don't forget to vote for the real Dems seeking re-election to our County Democratic Central Committee. Don't be fooled by the wannabe Dems. (aka the LaRouchies) Bonafide members are:

Robin Torello
Greg Sanborn
Kevin Greene
Kyle Crandell
Linda Perry
Steven Sanger
Rocky Fernandez

See you on Feb. 18th !

Sonya Howes

CDC warns that Bushlexia is "contagerous"
by Victor Payan Pocho
Center Health and Humor Services

The Center for Disease Control issued a warning today that Bushlexia, the terrible disorder that destroys rational thinking and speech centers of the brain, can be spread from person to person. "New evidence shows that Bushlexia is contagerous,"said CDC spokeswoman Dr. Ann Thrax. Apart from its trademark speech impediments, symptoms of Bushlexia include the inability to process complex ideas, delusions of grandeur, susceptibility to authority, alcohol abuse, and involuntary facial ticks, such as smirking, nervous laughter, and the sudden eruption of large boils when angry.

Another symptom of the disorder is that it causes its sufferers to mimic the facial expressions of chimpanzees. Although little is known of the disease, it is believed that Bushlexia, also known as "Mad Cowboy Disease," is spread through television news, talk radio and by exposure to USA Today. The possibility of a Bushlexia epidemic is staggering, warns Thrax, as it would render all forms of communication useless. "Could you imagine having a cell phone conversation with someone who had Bushlexia?" asked a concerned Thrax. "And if you had to order Chinese food, you just might starve." 

Another more menacing characteristic of Bushlexia, is he tendency to make its sufferers susceptible to the will of authority figures. It would be unwise to misunderestimate the degree of subliminable suggestion to which a person might be injected," says Thrax. "Therefore, we strongly encourage people who show symptoms of Bushlexia to immediately resort to local authorities for a battering of tests."

A recent CDC report on Bushlexia showed that rats exposed to George W. Bush press conferences and television programs such as "The O'Reilly Factor" suffered severe impairment to their cognitive abilities. "Because we have found Bushlexia in rats," says Thrax, "we have concluded that people with Bushlexia are really rats." The origins of Bushlexia are unknown, but the first outbreak occurred in Texas, when George W. Bush's money beat popular incumbent Ann Richards in that state's gubernatorial race. 

More recently, a widespread Bushlexia epidemic in Florida resulted in the miscounting and dismissal of thousands of votes for presidential candidate Al Gore. at that time, it was believed that Bushlexia was also responsible for the Florida Supreme Court's decision to throw out the votes. Later, however, it was concluded that the real cause was corruption. "Since Bushlexia is a fairly recent disorder, we can only conclude that it may be the result of some new form of bio-illogical warfare," says Thrax.

It is feared that Florida governor Jeb Bush has also contracted Bushlexia, as he has remained mysteriously silent over that state's connection to the terrorist bombings of the World Trade Center, the recent outbreaks of Anthrax and the creation of the horrible scourges N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys. 

In related news, CNN has reported a large outbreak of Bushlexia among senior Democratic officials since Sunday's airstrikes in Afghanistan. Because of constant exposure to government spokespeople, CNN has begun mandatory Bushlexia testing among its news staff. Senior CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer, however, assured the public that the idea of a Bushlexia epidemic among media professionals is "ridicular and preposthumous". 

Memberships Due Now!!
If your address label reads something other than "2002," this is your last newsletter unless you renew today!

Individual : $ 10.00
Household: $18.00

Next meeting

Monday, February 18
7:30 PM 

Castro Valley Women's Club 
18330 Redwood Rd.

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Castro Valley Democratic Club

Castro Valley, Ashland, Cherryland 
San Lorenzo and San Leandro

FPPC #930572

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